“A musician friend tells me I write junk. A collage English teacher agreed with him. Funny I don’t really care what they think.”
Of course I did care and that was the reason I stopped writing – the main reason I always stopped writing. The quality of these older works is a secondary issue. I wrote these at a time when I was fighting an inside battle – my mistaken belief in the evilness of my homosexuality, so this work represents the suicidal self-hatred I felt during my youth.
At a time when I was constantly depressed, I could not even mention the word gay so the battle was never directly named yet the terms I used were unmistakably plain. When I talked about my “problem”, “what I am”, “wickedness”, “sin”, “the force”, they were almost always directed at being queer. “Father’s Love” was puplished, along with a few others, and even one a local award. “Nohere” was recorded on a demo tape that is now lost.